If you're like me, you are probably asking yourself, "what's the best remedy for world peace?" The answer is the same remedy for everything else: wine. Don't get your panties in a wad just yet. I know there are starving kids, natural disasters, Snooki is apparently reproducing, but let's talk about the only thing we can control - ourselves. So get it together people, because what the world needs is less whine and more wine!
When you're drinking wine, it'll make you poop if you need to. Can you imagine how much better you'd feel if you carried around less crap?
It's good for your heart health, and your awkward social life. And you know who you are.
If you accidentally overindulge all the time, wine is the best choice because "lush" sounds better than "drunken asshole."
Jesus turned water into wine. *squeal!* I just got to use my two favorite words "Jesus" and "wine" in the same sentence.
There's minimal chance of birth defects if you drink wine while you're pregnant. (note: minimal. Thanks mom.)
You seem classy when you go to a wine tasting even though you're only there to get tanked.
Let's face it - if the world had more wine drinkers, we would also have less judgment, less stress, and more universal love. Besides, based on the fact that your dad wears overalls with no shirts, there's a good chance wine is what got you here in the first place.
I'll drink to that.
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