African American Chamber of Commerce

As most of you know, my mom is delightfully insane. I went to see her new office yesterday and had quite a time. When I met her at the elevator she was doing the ugly cry, then hugged and kissed all over me. Then she was fine because she had a great story to tell me about her new business. The conversation went like this.

"Of course the sticker is reflective and gold. It's for black people."



Mom: So, I have some big news. *accomplished sigh* You know how I've been working my butt off? Well it paid off. I finally got invited to join the Centex African American Chamber of Commerce.

Me: You're serious.

Mom: Of course I'm serious. I've been working on it for days. I even told them I was half black. The lower half, of course. Then they agreed and some big black ladies busted up in here and prayed over this office all "Yesssssssss Lort! Jeeeeesus!"And all I could do was put my hands up like this and say "yeah girl!" Keep in mind she was doing the "raise the roof" movements the whole time.

This is what she looked like as she told the story.

What can you do in situations like that? All I could do was be proud, and send up a silent prayer that I'm even functional.

This is me being too busy to help put together office furniture. My face isn't showing because it looks just like hers, and I didn't want Bonquiqui trying to smack me on the forehead and yell "amen" while I was clearly working.

Stay tuned for the next blog

 As I was leaving, mom and I had a very Hallmark moment and it looked like this. We were sitting at an old wooden table in cardigans, talking about Massingill douches and how we want to grow old with a good man. Then she nonchalantly said "I can't believe I'm at work with no panties. " (my immediate reaction: Yay! WE finally see eye to eye! Liberatioooooooon!!!)

But she wasn't pantyless because she's rebellious. It's because she had to take them off and you will not believe why. The best part is, we couldn't find the panties anywhere in her office. To Consuela the cleaning lady - y o u   a r e   w e l c o m e. 

Moral of the story: Pray for my unborn children.