I Hate Dishes

I love to cook but hate to do dishes. If anyone else feels the same way, here’s a list of stuff to try instead of cleaning plates.

1.       Buy new underwear. Fun, but the dishes were still dirty and now I felt that way too.

2.       Get a bad ass coin collection from your dad. Have you ever seen a steel penny? They’re cool.

3.       Paint a weird looking tree thing in your new underwear while the blinds are open… Yikes. I wish I was kidding about the blinds.

4.       Give the dishes evil looks.

                       I just put this in because I think I look like an angel. Thanks instagram.

 

5.       Teach your dog Spanish cuss words in case she ever needs them – and at this rate, she will.

6.       Revisit why you don’t date people more than 10 years older than you, then remember exactly why.

7.       Laugh hysterically as you remember what happened Friday night.

        This is how Friday night started. Unfortunately the pictures taken after this one are not appropriate for public viewing.

8.       Wait on a tall Latin man to show up at the door with grapes and a banana leaf. (If you know what I mean.)

9.       Consider the physiological reasons old people could smell like they do.

10.   Remember the guy from Fuzzy’s who looked like Harry Potter.

             Here he is passionately discussing a magical bottle involving Fuzzy's sauce. 

11.   Think about what superpower you’d pick if you only got to choose one.

12.   Dance party.

13.   Write a blog. You really should, it’s easy to do and I would read it.

14.   Pray about much more significant things than this list.

                                      Take this as you will. (Shout out Awesome Amy!)

15.   Count the hours til dove season starts. (146.5)

16.   Listen to music on the balcony in your skivvies. The neighbors have seen it anyway.

17.   Review the “Do it Yourself” astrology book, at least the simple parts at the front of the book.

18.   Be thankful you’re employed although bummed tomorrow is a 14-hour work day.

19.   Continue to be baffled at the thought of “Kitty Caps.” Seriously. Who came up with that?

                                                            That's enough meow!

20.   Wish you had that baby goat that you saw at Tractor Supply yesterday. He was so darn cute. (sidenote: I had just eaten bacon before I played with a piglet. Do you think he has to have counseling now based on my bacon breath? Poor guy.)

                                   He was too disgruntled (pun intended) to face the camera.

 

Moral of the story: Do your dang dishes or they start to smell like old people.